<i gave you my heart but you broke it */> window.defaultStatus=" i give you my heart";
Wednesday, July 16, 2008










This blog is dead. Heh, my fault, I know, I haven't updated since forever.

Now my mind is ringing with memories from Taiwan- I really miss Taiwan, and 敦安！再见，不是分离时的惯用语，而是要再次相见的承诺！One day I will fly back to Taiwan and see these wonderful people again! 蝌蚪，馒头，秩镦，玉米，红豆，小露，小幽，崇智。。。还有很多很多。Every single one of them left a deep impression on me, they were ever so caring and friendly, and not to mention hospitable! Thanks to the team who made the trip ever so memorable: RachelLU, Joy, Jane, Nigel, Sean, Jing yuan, Jia Jie, Ren Hao, Yi Wen! and of course, the teachers, Mrs Chew and Mrs Yap. This is one experience that will always stay close to my heart.

Aside from the happy memories from the trip, pts are piling up, literally. Lets see what I have left:
- English speech draft (yes, I have not started!)
- SS pt draft (I wish I'd been able to bring homework to Taiwan :/)
- History PT
- Chinese PT (sorry Jenny, we'll work hard this Friday, I promise!)
- Chem Graded Assignment
- History Essay
- Not to mention the homework I have accumulated while I was away
D:

I will buck up and I will work very hard from now on! No complains, Taiwan was definitely worth it. and, thanks hong for collecting work for me! and to RachelYEK, for being so understanding that I have to black out from osl work now to complete all these PTs. and mandi! I am sorry! I will contact you for ICYL soon.

D: Jiayou jiayou! 勇往直前！(haha I'm so into Chinese now :D xinpinganthea lets converse in chinese form now on! :P)

Okay, back to english speech draft. bye blog, might not be back for some time (:

gave my heart */ on 9:48:00 PM

Thursday, May 08, 2008


its over.


myas are over.


i'm relieved, yet deeply, and i mean deeply saddened by certain tests. got back chem, physics, english and ss today. ss was the only okay one. the rest? shall put them aside for now. i know i'd worked hard for myas, i really did, but somehow, things don't always go the way you wish. i guess its a learning experience. every failure will bring about greater success in the future.

listened to You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban and i felt inspired.

You raise me up, so i can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to welcome stormy seas.
i am strong, when i am on your shoulders,
You raise me up, to more than i can be

The lyrics are wonderfully meaningful. I know that no matter what, everything happens for a purpose, and I can always trust Him, and let Him guide me along, because He'll always be right beside me when I'm down, cos i'm His child! (:

Aside from the sentimental, sad and what nots stuff, the last few days have been funfun (:
went out with simmy april daphne and vanessa to kallang leisure last Thursday, watched ironman- its REALLY GREAT. best sci-fi show i've watched thus far. yay they're having a sequel :D the technology is amazing. whoosh. and its a superbly executed show- i love it.

went out with clique the next day (Thurday)- realised how much i missed them- every single one of the twelve of them. The times we had, the memories we shared, (ahhh corny againn! sheesh) i'll never forget and 206 is THE LOVE. (:


not everyone's here though. some left already and hong had tennis ><, shihui had something on, and des had training.

I think life in rg is tough. okay i think life's tough in general. especially at this age, the stage whereby responsibilities start coming in, and when you know you have to take ownership of yourself. but i know i'm growing, i can feel it you know, not literally, i'm still that short height ><, but emotionally yes. not that i'm not lame anymore, i still am man :D, but inside, i know something has changed. stronger? i hope so. (:

gave my heart */ on 8:08:00 PM

Saturday, April 26, 2008


Being stressed is no good.
Being stressed makes you cranky.
Being stressed makes you eccentic and mad and you start to not make sense.
Being stressed makes you want to scream.
Being stress is bad bad bad for health.
Being stressed is distracting when you have to learn that volume times concentration equals No. of moles.
Being stressed makes me lose my smile and i want i want my smile back.

MYAs ARE MAKING ME STRESSED.
sigh.
am studying chem now and mole mole mole you make me want to roll into a hole. bleh.
separation techniques you and your complicated tactics!
ideal gas law you're so RAWR.
i could create a poem out of this man. but i need to study. study study study. ahhh. three more days! I dunno why this blog always ends up being livened when i have exams. should not be the case. >< anyway despite all the studying i am happy cos of our RS! yay yingyin nicole sharmaine hooo we got into cmps! whee.

but here comes another headache: besides all the mugging i need to do homework. :( loads of math. and fill in psb application form. ahhh. no time time the clock is ticking away i must have good time management and go back and study.

jiayou all! though studying makes your brain fizzy, i know you smart people will find it easy!

gave my heart */ on 11:03:00 PM

Sunday, March 09, 2008


Fluffy passed away today.

I never thought death would every come so close to someone i love; I was too complacent. All through the week, he had had fits, struggling to breathe and to get his heart pumping again. Every time I saw that little heart pumping so fast, the ribcage pressing hard against that thin layer of fur, I could not bear to look anymore. I was right there, yet I could do nothing but soothe him with my useless hands.

The pain that I felt when I saw him lying there, lifeless, upon coming home from church, I will never forget. It slowly eats you up, bit by bit, till you feel this hollow pain echoing within you. I had never felt such pain before, sadness in my life came and went, optimism seemed to bring me through dark periods of my life, but not this time. This time it was no longer just sadness, it was sheer pain and agony searing through me.

He was the best companion I could ever have, a brother, a listener, a friend, but most importantly, family. Yet when I came home from osl camp, all i knew was sleep. Not patting him on his back, or rubbing his ears and stomach, the places he liked best to be rubbed. Not telling him 'good boy', a phrase that would send his tail wagging. Not turning him upside down and playing dead with him. Not comforting him, alleviating his pain. Not all these- all these I didn't do.

Sending him to the crematorium was the hardest thing I have done in my life. Crying helps, but only for a little while. After reality sinks in, amidst all the hazy tears, the harsh truth stares you in the eye.

I wasn't beside him when he went; that is one thing that I will regret for the rest of my life. I never got the chance to say goodbye, I never got the chance to see his tail wag for me one last time. So many things.

I cannot bring myself to go on; I'm drained- emotionally, physically, everything. I fear this loneliness that creeps up around me now; there are blank spots all around the house, places meant for him, places that can hold no other things but him.

The fragility of life haunts me- i've grown so much in these few hours, I don't recognise myself anymore. If there is one thing I've learnt from you, it is to cherish all those around me- my family, my friends, my everything. Like you did. Like you who waited faithfully behind the door every day without fail, using your eyes to bring smiles to our faces. Like you who, despite all the pain, held on till I came back from camp. Like you who, between all my late nights, sat quietly by the side as the silent encourager you are.

This is a tribute for you, if not for you, I would have never managed to type all these without breaking down.

Fluffy, I love you. Have I ever said that you are the best companion I could ever ask for? I know I was the worst sister that ever existed; I'm sorry. Wherever you are now, please know that no one and nothing will ever replace what you are in my heart. The spots beside the sofa, under the dining table, beside the fan, and right here, right here in my heart- they're still yours, and will always be, forever and ever.

Good boy, Fluffy, good boy.

gave my heart */ on 11:01:00 PM

Monday, December 31, 2007


Its the last day of 2007.
I can't believe it; I don't want to believe it.
To believe that I've grown yet abother year older, hopefully wiser, and further from those childish years of secondary one and two.

SECONDARY 308.

It sure sounds scary. I do not know how 2008 will be like but I know, like long chuan said, just do your best. (: (thanks long chuan!) I think I'm definitely going to need my very best next year- pure sciences! But I know its just going to be yet another fufilling and meaningful year, especially with psb08. (:

Many people have been instrumental in making 2007 a fruitful andmeaningful year. I would like to thank EVERYBODY who has helped me, encouraged me, or has just been beside me throughout this wonderful year. There were ups and downs, but because of all of you, I made it through! (:

My year end holidays also could not have been so happily spent without these bunch of people:


FAMILY!!


Friends from mindchamps!


Old Rulang Clique!


206<3


Fabulous church friends!


SHIPERSTARRRR!<33


The three bestest friends ever!

and SHIPERSTARR again!
I really really love these people. You know when you feel like there's something to push you gently forward, in spite of all the weariness, in spite of the urge to coop up in bed? These great bunch of friends and family are all that I need to make my day. :D
HAPPY 2008 EVERYONE!

gave my heart */ on 9:46:00 PM

Friday, November 23, 2007


in ONE hours time, i have to eat my lunch (its 2.51p.m now, how earlyy) and take the shuttle to go to mindchamps. gosh. sometimes this course really tires me out. i mean, today's fine, 5 to 9.30, but tomorrow and sunday is like 8.30AM-9PM. i think i'll drop dead soon. i must say the techniques learnt are useful, but the day kind of just vanishes whenever i go mindchamps. :/ and the sad thing is its going to be december already! that means holidays are going to be over! okay i'm pessimistic yes, but i just become depressed thinking of a new loooong year again.

anyway, i think i'm going kind of crazy, but i miss school. :/

TWOSIX.




i'll miss shouting around in class, being angry with ya' all when you're not enthu enough, and yea, i really treasure all the moments we're together as a class man.


i think i'll do dedications another time. :D after seeing what marge's dedications i feel like doing some too! haha. nothing much has happened, only that my parents finally agreed to buy and EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE! haha, okay okay, i know you are all rolling your eyes now, but i really need the space man! all the new pictures(taken up by 206'S DRAMA PRAC MOSTLY:D) and songs and videos downloaded are clogging up the poor old comm. and my sims has started lagging too. BLEHBLEH.


and and. about mindchamps again, i met this girl in my class called priscilla as well! but her surname is far too long to be spelt, so my teacher just calls me priscilla chew and calls her priscilla. >.< think i have a picture of us. :D



oh yea. i feel like banning myself from the computer. cos' i can't seem to stay away from it and its getting anoying cos' when i try to read a book my hands will automatically still go to the computer. gah. there's 35 minutes left and io still haven't eaten my lunch.
so that's it for now. :D

gave my heart */ on 2:50:00 PM

Monday, November 19, 2007


Many things happened this week!
i feel so busy. haha. shucks i know i haven't been replying tags. but if i reply here what if blogger conks out AGAIN! that time reply until so xin1 ku3 then blogger deleted everything. SO SMART MAN. okay nevermind. i shall update on what's been happening first.
lets see:

Monday: guitar-ed whole day.

Tuesday: went out with simmy and april in the morning. watched stardust. and the movie only just started when there was this anouncement saying there was an emergency and we had to evacuate. >.< so irritating. so we missed the first bit. STARDUST was wonderful. I'm in love with the ending song now. rule the world by take that. one of the few english songs i know. haha. went for guitar after the movie.

Wednesday: supposed to go east coast park with simmy and april for cycling, but woke up seeing dark clouds and rain. bleh. so we didn't manage to go in the end. But soon after we decided to cancel the thing, it stopped raining. sigh.

Thursday: 206 CLASS GATHERING!! seeing all of them again just made me really sad and nostalgic. I guess during the holidays you don't really feel the pull yet, because we're all so busy going out, having fun, etc. But i think when the new classes are out, i'll cry. I just can't imagine another class, without all the people i've gotten so used to. My tablemates, the 2 efficient and lovely vice-chairs, and every single person in 206. I don't care if we're not as bonded as 205, or if we only bonded at the end during drama night, but i relaly really love 206. Okay i'm not going to start emo-ing again.
Back to the real thing. We basically just hung out, cos' not alot of people could make it, only about 16 turned up. But just as well, it was good seeing those faces again! :D POOR VERON COULDN'T COME COS SHE WAS SICK! VERON TEO AKA PP IF YOU READ THIS, GET WELL SOON OKAY!
we met up at simei MRT, and cheryl koh the tour guide was supposed to bring us there. she was hilarious lah, like a real tour guide okay! only short of a flag. :D
reached there, eat and eat and eat. (I'M GROWING SO FAT I DON'T RECOGNISE MYSELF) played hide and seek, in the limited space we had, and it was hilarious man. brenda actually hid in a cardboard box! haha, then me, cindy and qianyu hid in the bathroom, in the shower! hahahaha, serious, we were the last to be found okay! marge was like "stupid prischew, where are you ah" and they all thought that the toilet door was locked and didn't realise there was another door to he toilet from the karaoke room! lol.
watched two movies, secret and world trade centre, those were enough to keep us occupied for a loonng time.
played the piano, the guitar, and crapped alot. we were in the karaoke room almost the whole time lah, and we sang JJlin's, aka wynne's craze, songs. then dad fetched me and marge home. In the car me and marge were like blowing lots and lots of balloons, lol, and we wrote stuff on the balloons too!
Okay here are some of the pics from the class party, the full one can be found here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=12770&l=3797d&id=593968460
OH AND I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT DESIREE'S DOG JOJO, OR MOMO, I FORGOT ITS NAME, IS ABSOLUTELY CUTE! haha i was a bit biased cos there was another dog, but i neglected it and only took photos of jojo/momo. sorry whatever the second dog's name is! :D


us watching secret


the dog i neglected!

JOJO!


desiree's eyes just couldn't open. >.<

us after the whole thing ended

fellow chew, i'll miss you alot!!

marge/ghardpard: love<3

artistic, yea?:D

the first one reads: "Pris (heart)s Marge super-alot!
the second one reads: "Marge loves Pris!"

more balloons. :D

okay, 'll blog about shiperstar's second outing to sentosa another day. photos already on facebook though. :D
okay, that's it. off to lunch!

gave my heart */ on 12:46:00 PM